Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Varied / Hobbyist Member Daria D. WebsFemale/United States Group :iconhetalia-fanfictions: Hetalia-Fanfictions
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 670 Deviations 4,479 Comments 45,724 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

You are permitted to use my work, just so long as you credit me.

GALLERY CONTAINS EXPLOSION OF FANDOMS by Vexcel Deviant of many.. things? by Vexcel I Love my Watchers. by Hurricane-Hannah

Favourites

I'm spilling as much of my guts as I can here because I don't know how to express my feelings properly. I know I don't really share a lot about my personal life, but I think I'll be okay saying this.

I left the university I enrolled in last year in February. I simply couldn't take it anymore; I was stuck in a big, quiet, empty dorm room all by myself with very little friends and primarily online classes (which was really stupid considering I was paying all that money to live there). It got to the point where I became severely depressed and lonely. Getting out of bed was a struggle because I saw no point in it. I had no one. The only people that cared about me were gone, if not by my going away then by their going away. I felt like I couldn't talk to my "friends" on campus because they just wouldn't really understand. I'm sure they'd be really upset if they heard that I never considered them real friends; maybe it's just because I'm a bad person. I don't know.

In the end, it took a failed Public Speaking speech (by which I mean I didn't turn in my prompt in time) for me to snap and call my mother to say I wanted to leave. I went home that weekend and had a talk with my parents, who were surprisingly supportive, and I was all packed up and heading home for good on Valentine's Day.

Leaving that place was the best decision I've ever made.

There was a part of the university that made it somewhat bearable: the marching band. I admittedly didn't like it, mostly because it felt like more of a job in college than it had in high school. High school marching band was so much more fun, but I can't really put into words why. The friends I did make at the university were almost all in the marching band, and I made especially good friends with the drum major and two directors. Those three were a lot like role models to me, or something like that. About a week after band camp last year was when I guess I started showing signs of depression. I went to the band directors and told them, on the verge of tears, that I felt I needed to quit. After just a moment of encouragement from the both of them, I relented and decided to stick it out for the year.

Of course, that was before I realized how much worse college marching band was than high school marching band. And it hurt to face that, because band and music had been such huge parts of my life for as long as I could remember. I couldn't just leave, especially after having already talked about it to my directors.

So I stayed, albeit reluctantly.

Now fast-forward to today, tonight to be more specific. I was on Facebook scrolling through the marching band page's timeline (yeah, I know), and I decided to just go through the photos and look for any of me. Y'know, out of curiosity. I went through over 200 photos from this past school year.

Aside from the full band shots from the press box, I was in none of them.

That made me tear up for some reason. I thought I hated that place. I did hate that place. I was alone and miserable there.

But when I put on that uniform, I was somebody. Despite losing the connection I'd had in high school, there was still a sliver of joy and satisfaction I got out of marching with that band. If anything, that was the only good thing I found in that godforsaken place.

And now there's no proof I was ever a part of it.

I exited out of the window and wiped my eyes. Then I smiled sadly and said to myself over and over, "It's okay. You never belonged there, anyway."

deviantID

Ravens-of-Rome's Profile Picture
Ravens-of-Rome
Daria D. Webs
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
"It's too big a world to be in competition with everybody else. The only person you have to get better than is who you are right now." --Colonel Sherman T. Potter</i>

Thank You... by jennyleigh
Thanks for everything, y'all!</i> :iconbigheartplz:

Love And Peace Icon by BattleAngelGally


Stamp-Band Geek by MirokuMustangLee:iconportalplz:Marching Band by Kagit:iconportal2plz:Stamp-Band Geek by MirokuMustangLee

Giant Robots stamp by sallychan DAMN IT BULKHEAD by Frazero TF Girls stamp by Metallikato I was a little craycray by KashimusPrime TF-Give Me Your Face Stamp by rosa-pegasus robot crush by meimei-stamps TFP Optimus stamp by Imber-Noctis TFP Smokescreen stamp by Imber-Noctis TFP Magnus stamp by Imber-Noctis TFP Ratchet stamp by Imber-Noctis
Make Pasta Not War stamp. by UnstableTable Hetero Hetalia Pairings stamp by 6t76t HistoryXHetalia by KatieKa-Boom Hetalia and History by McMitters Marukaite Chikyuu by dragon-sigma
Vash the Stampede by beanhugger Kuroneko-sama stamp by KitWolfren staring Vash - Stamp by Reilie Vash's Glasses Stamp by Knaaren Vash - Love and Peace - Stamp by Reilie
I Want To Be A State Alchemist by The-Art-Godess FMA vs Twilight by eagle-flyte Ed is short stamp by Okami-Moony Eddie hates milk stamp by Okami-Moony Emo Corner Stamp by SpeedyAlchemist
Hug Al stamp by TheLadyFaith FMA Edward Elric - Wiggle by Cathines-Stamps Ling Dance - Stamp by I-Forget-To-Forget Alphonse Elric Stamp by mandys fma stamp by silverMoonGuardian
Wir sind die Jaeger stamp by psyxi0 Scouting Legion Stamp [Shingeki no Kyojin] by SuzukeAmaterasu SnK: Salute stamp by themuffinshota SnK: Don't have to be the strongest stamp by themuffinshota Jean Kirschtein Stamp by DuskyDeer
Armin Stamp by RevivalSnK Marco Bodt stamp by Aurora-Starlet Bertholdt stamp by SonneDark Attack On Titan Stamp: Jean 2 by wow1076 Levi stamp by Superpluplush
STAMP: Glasses by Emotikonz Artist 'Till Death by Crimson-Demise STAMP-mechanical pencils by Sister-of-Charity I'm Famous Stamp by Khrinx Stamp: Characters are children by Jammerlee Artist Working Stamp by Mirz123 Night Person by fear-the-brilliance Imagination stamp by NamiYami MY ONE AND ONLY STAMPPPP by pumpkyn My Excuse by secretgal1234 Music helps me create OCs... by Riona-la-crevette hold me by meimei-stamps Disney Stamp: Haters Gonna Hate by XxoOjunefoxOoxX After all, I'm a clump too... by Porcelain-Requiem Pro-Life feminist stamp version 2 by Xarti Singles +1 (blue) by RebiValeska I Support The Right to Free Speech by SionnaDehr Imperfect Stamp by Vexic929 I support the cops. by Colonial-Marine Where are you, men of courage? by RebiValeska
How Big Stamp by AcidaliaAdrasteia
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's May 5th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
Reply
:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner May 5, 2015
Happy birthday! :D
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner May 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbirthd::iconbir2::iconbir3::iconbir4:
:iconbir5::iconbir6::iconbir7::iconbir8:
:iconbir9::iconbir1::iconbir10::iconbir11:
:iconbir12::iconbir13::iconbir14::iconbir15:
Reply
:iconravens-of-rome:
Ravens-of-Rome Featured By Owner May 5, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Aw, thank you! :D
Reply
:iconhighwind-sniper:
Highwind-Sniper Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: on Her Voice
Reply
:iconravens-of-rome:
Ravens-of-Rome Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! :D
Reply
Hidden by Owner
Hidden by Commenter
:iconsunflowers-and-fur:
Sunflowers-And-Fur Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014
Thank you for accepting my invitation, Ravens-Of-Rome.
Welcome to Passionate-About-Art! :heart:
Reply
Add a Comment: